Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Unspoken Criticism
May 1, 2016
VISIBLE: LGBTQ PEOPLE OF THE CARIBBEAN AND DIASPORA
May 10, 2016

81xGBF2MybLAlrighty, today I started Chapter 8 which is interestingly titled "Authentic Success."  I'm only two paragraphs in and already looking forward to what's coming next.  I took a sneak peek forward and the chapter is going to address many aspects of success including (but not limited to) defining success, the effects of overstretching our children, expanding our definition of success and stoking unconditional self-acceptance.

I was really struck by this paragraph which is part of the chapter's introduction:

"Resilience is only about overcoming external challenges.  Sometimes it is about overcoming voices from within that tell us we are unacceptable unless we consistently perform at the standards that please everybody."

This quote is a big deal.  Many times as parents with the best intentions we unintentionally teach our children that our acceptance of them (and by extension their acceptance of themselves) is rooted in their ability to perform -- academically, socially, athletically, intellectually etc.   In reality, we would love them even if they didn't have the capacity to excel in any one of those (or any other) areas.  And so, how do we define success and model success in a way that doesn't undermine their unconditional self-acceptance?  I'm guessing Chapter 8 is going to give us the answers.  I will of course share the golden nuggets as I come across them.

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