So this chapter is focusing on the importance of using criticism constructively. This nugget is about the ways we unintentionally criticize our kids -- even without using words. There's a great example in the book -- I won't copy and paste it here since you should totally buy the book for yourself, but let's say it falls into the doing things for your kids that they can do for themselves.
Now, we all do this for different reasons -- while I believe my kids are absolutely capable of getting things done, they are often not capable of getting them done either -- in the timeframe in which I want it done lol!! (Let's just say I'm super efficient, having had 40 years of practice!). Reading this part of the book helped me realize that -- when the boys are working hard on doing something I've asked them to do, and then I just come over and quickly do it (so it can be done and checked off my to-do list), I may be sending them the message that I don't believe they are capable. Or that their effort wasn't good enough. Definitely not the goal right? I'm not trying to silently criticize them -- just trying to get whatever it is done quickly. Nonetheless, often the outcome outweighs the intention, so I'll be watching myself for this one.
Take a sec to think to yourself -- are there ways you unintentionally criticize your kids -- even without using words?